


I’ve wasted my nights, you turned out the lights, now I’m paralyzed.

by weareboundless



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, F/M, Multi, Pixie and Caroline make an appearance, girl!Harry, girl!Louis, girl!Niall, girl!Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 19:59:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weareboundless/pseuds/weareboundless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>At one point Nick would have become uncomfortable maybe even a bit miffed when a joke about his age was made, but Nick decided 'fuck it' because it wasn't like he wanted in their pants, until he did.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’ve wasted my nights, you turned out the lights, now I’m paralyzed.

**Author's Note:**

> So, there is like one or two lines of terribly awkward smut that I ended up chickening out of half way through, which is probably why I feel like this fic did a 180 in the middle. 
> 
> Title Credit - Payphone by Maroon 5

 "Grimmy, dear, I'm back."

"Oh my love! I was beginning to think the she-devil ate you up."

Harry just rolled her eyes, "just because we made out that one-" Nick quickly shook his head, "that doesn't make her the she-devil," he said with an over dramatic sigh. "I still think you should've let me record it, could've been YouTube famous, both fit as fuck you are."

"You just want some new wanting material," he just smirked and lightly tapped his temple. "Got it all stored up here, wouldn't object to having it refreshed though," he said laughing as Harry made a face. "Dirty ol' pervert," Harry stated swatting at his shoulder. "Doesn't say much about you, now does it? Spending all your time with the she-devil and a pervert," he replied with another round of laughter causing her to huff. 

"For fucks sake, would you two just fuck already? No, just wait until I leave," Liam said walking out of the kitchen with a scowl on his face. Nick and Harry just laughed as they flipped him off followed by Harry shifting so she was sitting on the couch sideways with her toes nestled under Nick's thigh. Liam didn't mind them acting so coupley, even if they refused to admit it, however; he wasn't particularly found of feeling like a third wheel, which was generally how it worked when Harry came over. However, today was worse than most, since they haven't seen each other in a week or two now. 

Liam noted the more intimate position that changed to deciding it was time to leave. "Alright, I'm heading to Louis' before you start shagging on the couch," he stated as he stood up and headed towards the door. "Have fun at the she-devils!" Nick yelled with a laugh, whining when Harry slapped his chest. "She isn't a she-devil," Nick's eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he looked at Harry. "She calls me a lowly servant boy or peasant every time she sees me," he stated as his nose wrinkled up.  

Harry just smiled and leaned over to kiss his temple, "she does that to pretty much everyone, love," she reassured curling into his side and using his shoulder as a pillow. "What a slag, he's old enough to be her grandpa and she's only known him for like a day," Nick exclaimed staring at the telly as one of his hands rested on her calf his thumb gently stroking the skin. A fond smile gracing his lips as Harry giggled into his shoulder. "What are you watching?" She asked turning her face to look at the screen one of her hands lacing with his free hand and the other playing with the hairs on the back of his neck. "Some American show Louis wanted Liam to watch, it's an all day marathon apparently," he replied with a small shrug careful to not jostle Harry.

"So why are you watching it?" She asked slowly almost as if she was talking to a child. "Liam had it on and there was nothing else to do," he replied with a shrug never taking his eyes off of the screen becoming rather enthralled with it. She rolled her eyes and fidgeted a bit until she could find a comfortable spot on his shoulder and started paying attention to the show. "Well at least she didn't talk him into buying the box set or something," Harry joked causing Nick to laugh. "Right you are, we already have enough teen dramas in the cabinets," he replied giving her calf a light squeeze before his attention was quickly drawn back to the show when someone started screaming. 

"I need a shower, be back," she stated pulling out of his grasp and heading towards the back. It would be a lie to say Nick didn't watch her disappear down the hall, but he didn't say a word and returned to watching the show. 

 This had become such a standard thing that Harry really should just find an empty corner and keep some of her belongings there, but then she wouldn't have the excuse to use Nick's shampoo or wear his clothes afterwards because she wasn't about to put the clothes she had on before the shower back on. Harry ended up spending longer in the shower than she had meant, but it wasn't as if they were in a hurry of some sort anyways. As far as she knew they weren't going to leave the flat tonight. 

So maybe Harry wasted a little time going through Nick's closet even though she knew exactly where everything was at. She ended up pulling on her knickers and bra because she couldn't exactly go without them, well she could, but she figured it would be more appreciated if she kept her clothes on. These were the times she wished she was tiny like Louis, so she could just pull on one of his jumpers and call it good, but she was roughly the same height as Nick and it probably helped how muscular Liam was. Either way she settled for an old shirt and a pair of joggers. 

 "Figured you might like some tea," Nick said gesturing to the untouched cup sitting on the end table. "Made it how you like, I think," he added taking a drink from his own cup as Harry curled into his side clutching the mug with both hands. "Perfect," she all but purred after taking a sip and kissing the underside of his jaw affectionately. The pair watched the show quietly aside from Nick's flippant comments about the characters. Harry waited until the commercials started to play before angling her head to face his, "alright, tell about this, because I'm lost." 

 

* * *

 

 

At one point Nick would have become uncomfortable maybe even a bit miffed when a joke about his age was made. However, by this point he had grown rather accustomed to the teasing, which had lessened some thankfully. Since he was quite a bit older than the group, Nick did feel a bit like a pedophile when he first started spending time with them. When he first met them they were practically babies, aside from Louis, but she wasn't much better either. However, after partaking in some drunken conversations with friends of his own age, Nick decided 'fuck it' because it wasn't like he wanted in their pants, until he did. 

 He wasn't entirely sure when the change happened, but he has come to grips with it. Something that had to be done considering the amount of time he spent with them, especially now that he was flat mates with Liam, the only male out of the lot. But really with the amount of time Harry spends at their place and the amount of time Liam spends at Louis' they might as well just switch, it's all a bit ridiculous really. 

 Aside from Liam and Niall it was a bit surprising that any of them were able to keep their jobs. Harry always left in the middle of her shifts at some hold in the wall antique shop, Zayn wasn't scared to call customers stupid when they bought bad comic books, and Louis was just Louis. She's been fired from a countless number of jobs and was just lucky that Liam put in a good word for her at the sports store where he worked. As for Niall, well no one was quite sure what Niall did because she just disappeared randomly and returned with her wallet a little fuller, and Nick had a terrible tendency to sleep wherever he felt like it and rarely actually did his job properly, so his current position wasn't a surprise to Zayn in the slightest. 

 Nick didn't bother to lift his head from his spot on the floor when the bells on the door jingled. "Enlighten me as to how you keep a job," Zayn said dryly with a raised eyebrow as he raised his head off the floor. "With my charming personality," he shot back not bothering to move from his sprawled out position on the floor. His lips twitched slightly as he watched Harry walk in with her neck covered in bright red splotches and Niall in tow. "What did that?" Nick asked as he got up off the floor and tugged the collar of her shirt down to see how far they went ignoring her swatting hands and high pitched squawking. "So, it was the she-devil then," he settled releasing her shirt ignoring that harder slap to his chest before started to complain about him stretching out her collar. 

 The door jingled once again as Nick collected the stack of CDs off the counter and went to put them away. He could only groan making the assumption it was Louis; however, he was met with a pleasant surprise to see Pixie instead. "Have the babies gotten out early today?" She teased ruffling Niall's hair in passing on her way over to Nick. The teasing was something they all had gotten use to, and while Harry knew Nick greeted practically everyone he knew with a kiss, but her nose wrinkled at the sight nevertheless. 

 "I do believe I was promised drinks tonight," she said picking up one of the CDs off of the stack reading over the back of it. "Right, right of course gotta get you properly shagged," he said with a laugh as he continued sorting discs only glancing over at the other girls as they messed around. "Well if it comes to it, I could always pull you," Nick rolled his eyes as she laughed, "course, always glad to be a last resort, babe." Harry snorted as she listened to their conversation. "All right Harry time to go," Zayn said tugging her out of the store yelling a bye over her shoulder at the others. 

 Niall trailed after not wanting to be left behind with Pixie and Nick, she was never quite sure where the two stood and didn't want to be stuck in a room with the two snogging if that's what they did. "Nick isn't a last resort, for fucks sake that's ridiculous," Harry exclaimed shaking her head as the group walked down the street. "She was just kidding Haz, I don't think they'd fuck anyways," Niall offered with a shrug as she molded herself into Zayn's side. Harry rolled her eyes only getting more irritated with the situation. "Harry," Zayn warned with a frown knowing exactly where this conversation was heading. "Sorry," she mumbled running a hand through her curls. 

 "You know what we haven't done in a while?" Harry asked as they left the store that Liam and Louis and disappeared into. "What's that?" Louis responded tilting her head to look around Liam. "Drinking," Zayn just groaned in response, "Harry let him hang out with his friends in peace," Harry glowered. "I'm his friend too."

 "Friends his own age Haz."

 "I'm just as entertaining as any of them," she crossed her arms over her chest clearly annoyed with the conversation, but Zayn was exasperated and wasn't about to just let her win this. Even though Zayn hated to admit it, at times Harry could be rather childish when it came to Nick, and she wasn't sure if Harry had just become to dependent on the man or something else entirely.

 "Maybe he doesn't want to feel like a pedophile or have people wonder why he's drinking with his daughter for once."

 "Zayn!" Louis exclaimed quickly leaving Liam's side to wrap herself around Harry whose eyes had widened. Zayn sighed, maybe she had gone a bit overboard, but even though Harry could act childish it was easy to forget she was the youngest and at times could extremely insecure. "You think that's what he thinks?" Harry asked looking at Louis with a frown. "No, of course not, love, he thinks the sun shines out your arse and all that jazz," Louis assured tightening her grip around Harry. "Besides he has to be rather smitten with you to put up with Louis and to room with me," Liam added with a smile reaching over and giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. 

 "I'm sorry Hazza, I'm just a bit off today is all, probably starting my period or something," Zayn offered smiling when Harry smiled, "fair enough." Zayn stopped walking briefly to kiss Harry's forehead laughing when a bright red mark was left behind before she used her sleeve to wipe it off. 

 "So we're going out tonight then?" Everyone cheered in response to Niall's question and headed towards their respective homes. "Think we should call Niall and tell her to actually dress like a girl?" Harry asked and she walked into the elevator with Louis. "Nah, cause if we're gonna do that it'd have to be a surprise for Zayn, plus she'd have to borrow clothes from us," Louis spoke casually with a shrug. "True, next time?" Louis nodded her head in agreement, "next time."

  

* * *

 

 

Louis pressed a soft kiss to Liam's cheek and murmured an apology for their tardiness. Everyone could agree that Liam was good for her, like a rock of sorts. He brings out the calmer side or Louis and manages to keep her on track, most of the time. Zayn and Niall didn't like labels and when it same to their sex lives they were fairly secretive. Everything between the two was full of subtle gestures and words; besides the obvious affections that Niall gave everyone. Harry and Nick though, they were a whole different story. Everyone knew they were head over heels for each other, but they were too stubborn to actually admit it. When they weren't acting like a couple they were glaring at anyone who even seemed to look like they were flirting. Which is exactly why they all showed up at the same club that Nick and Pixie had gone too. 

 "So how'd you know they'd be here?" Niall asked with a laugh as they walked inside and Harry immediately began looking for a familiar face. She just pointed at Liam who shrugged his shoulders, "heard him on the phone with Pixie, besides it really can't be shocking since Harry basically stalks him anyways," he said with a laugh causing her to pout. "You guys are mean to me," the statement made the others laugh before they all headed towards the dance floor leaving Harry alone on her search. 

 Nick's lips quirked into a smirk as he felt a body press into back and a pair of lips ghost over his ear. "Buy me a drink, babe?" He just laughed knocking on the table to get the bartenders attention before turning his head to look at Harry. "Couldn't bare to be parted for one night," he teased pressing his lips to hers in a quick greeting, "it would seem," she said with a smile as she wiped at the lipstick that was transferred from her lips to his. "You look lovely tonight, trying to pull someone yourself?" He asked tilting his head to the side slightly taking in her too tight, too short dress and too tall of heels. Nick would put money on it that she would be out of them before the night was over. "Yes of course, and you look rather fit as well," Harry ran a hand through her curls slipping into the empty seat next to him as he ordered drinks for them both. 

 Harry didn't bother to ask where Pixie was because to be perfectly honest she really didn't care. She liked the girl just fine, but her attention was obviously focused elsewhere at the moment. 

 It was only after a few shots that Nick and Harry found themselves on the dance floor twisting around couples until they were absolutely surrounded and could barely move without hitting someone next to them. His arms wrapped around her waist letting his hand splay out over her lower back and tilt with the swell of her ass as he pulled her close. The beat of the music pulsed through his bones, thumped in his chest making it easy to move his body along with it. 

 At some point Harry spun around pressing her back flush to his chest smiling as she felt the hand that wasn't currently on her stomach grasp her thigh hiking the dress up a bit more. She only turned to look at him when she felt his chest moving from her back frowning when she saw him leaning into Pixie as they spoke. Harry frowned a bit pushing her hips back against him harder smirking when she heard his laugh break into moan. Harry figured Pixie must have left because suddenly he was curled around her once more, and even though she was taller than him with her heels on she felt impossibly small wrapped up in him as they danced. 

 It wasn't until they got back to Nick's flat that anything worth telling happened. The time between was filled with sloppy words and an almost flashing on Harry’s side. 

  

* * *

 

 

Harry hummed into Nick's shoulder scratching her nails over his back and ribs as he carried her towards the bedroom. "Gonna look like a scratching post tomorrow," Nick said as she dug her nails in harder with a laugh, "aren't you glad Lou talked me into 'em," Harry slurred out taking a moment to wiggle the fake nails in his face before returning to her ministrations. Nick moaned as she bit into his neck unexpectedly which may or may not have made them bump into a wall. 

 Once Harry hit the bed everything quickly turned into a blur of movements. Clothing was hitting the ground with little finesse, neither of them had the patience for any sort of foreplay, at least any foreplay that required clothing. 

 Nick tossed the condom on to the bed before crawling up her body peppering kisses here and there as he went. She hummed at the feeling letting her fingers tangle in his hair before giving it a sharp tug; Harry shivered and smirked feeling his hot breath over her stomach as he moaned.  

 "Hurry up old man," she teased easily squawking and swatting at Nick when he pinched her side in retaliation. "You're insufferable," he muttered before placing a kiss on her collarbone and trailed them down between her breasts letting his fingers dance along her ribs humming in disapproval at how easily traceable they were. He didn't put much thought into it as he continued lower shuffling down the bed as he went. 

 Harry's body writhed as Nick nipped at her inner thighs, the hands curled into his hair gave a harsh tug silently telling him to get on with it. It was all the encouragement he needed before leaning in and immediately pulling her clit between his lips sucking roughly smirking as her back arched pushing her hips closer to Nick. One of his hands reached up to splay out over Harry's abdomen, effectively holding her hips down with ease as the other slid under his chin to slip a finger in drawing a surprised moan from her lips.

 By this point there was so much sexual tension built up between the two, that there was no way they could waste anytime with teasing. Even though neither would actually admit it, they had waited far too long for this. They could tease each other next time, not that either party was really thinking about anything besides what was happening in that moment. 

 To be completely honest Nick always figured that Harry was a loud mouth in bed, seeing as she was everywhere else, however; the strangled whimpers and whines that she was making made for a pleasant surprise. Not that he would have minded, well yes he probably would have because she would've made a comment that was just a little too much and ruin the experience for him. So maybe it was better this way. 

 Because when it came down to it, Harry was a little selfish, which didn't go unnoticed by Nick as his head was pushed back down after trying to pull away. Even though a few snarky comments crossed his mind, he was forced to hold his tongue and instead focused on Harry. He focused on stretching her out before curling his fingers humming against her clit as she began to tremble. The simple action had Harry clenching down as she reached her peak, Nick working her through the high. 

 Her hands fell from his hair as she let out a shaky breath, Nick could only smirk as he looked away just to grab the condom that had moved across the bed at some point. When he looked back to her a slight frown graced his lips, "Hazza?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. She didn't bother to open her eyes instead muttered something about sleeping before stretching out on the bed. Normally Nick wouldn't have a problem with the sight in front of him, however; his erection had him thinking a bit differently. 

 Nick ended up rubbing one off in the bathroom before falling asleep in her room seeing how she ended up taking the entire bed with her gangly limbs. To say he was a little annoyed with how the night ended was an understatement.

  

* * *

 

 

"You fucked Nick then?" Harry knew this conversation was going to happen, but she was kind of hoping that it wouldn't. Luck wasn't on her side, but this was Zayn after all, so it really couldn't be a surprise. "So?" her arms crossed over her chest in attempts to take a defiant stand against the whole conversation. Zayn just shook her head as Niall sighed, "you two are so fucked in the head, it's insane," Harry could feel the anger washing over her in waves. "We shagged, so what? Isn't that what you and Niall do?" She asked defensively as Zayn knocked some ashes off her cigarette. 

 Zayn was good about keeping her temper; she understood that Harry didn't know how else to handle this situation. "Niall and I understand, we've talked it out, and know that just because we aren't labeling anything doesn't mean that we don't care for each other. You and Nick pretend that you aren't disgustingly smitten for one another and are probably going to pretend all of that didn't happen." Harry's eyes turned to slits as a cruel smirk curled the edges of her lips. "Is that so? You talked it all out?" She asked, her voice picking up a bitter tone as her gaze moved to Niall whose eyes widened. 

 "Harry don't," Niall, said softly, nervous because she knew exactly where this was going. "Oh, so you haven't spoken about Josh then?" Zayn frowned, "who?" Her brow furrowed as she looked from Niall to Harry. "Tell her Niall, tell her how good of a lay he was," she egged on. "Excuse me?" "I didn't mean it," Niall said, tears welling up in her eyes as Zayn's face contorted from confusion to anger. "It was when we first got together, before we clarified-" Zayn raised a hand taking a quick drag and expelling the smoke. "I've got work," her expression was blank as she dropped the cigarette and smashed it with her foot. 

 Niall by this point was crying, "Z-Zayn please, I'm sorry," she said quickly as Zayn began to walk away. Her shoulder knocked into Harry's with enough force to make her stumble back. "Cheers, mate," she said dryly as she left. Harry turned to Niall biting her lip as the guilt washed over her. "Niall-" she didn't get a chance to finish. "No, fuck you Harry, I get you're pissed about not being able to figure out your own problems, but that doesn't mean you get to screw my relationship up," she didn't give Harry a chance to respond before she left. 

 

* * *

  

After word got out about Zayn and Niall, Harry found her-self alone. Louis and Liam were mad over what she had said, well Louis was mad, Liam was really just disappointed, but not about to go against Louis' orders. Nick wasn't an option since she refused to go anywhere near the guy, even if that was the only person who would take her in with open arms. 

 It wasn't that Louis had kicked her out, because really she hadn't, but the lack of conversation and the unimpressed looks that were directed at her were enough to have Harry contemplating the idea. However, the knowledge that she had nowhere to go, kept her from actually moving out. She fell into a routine that required as little human contact as possible. It wasn't that she was becoming antisocial or depressed. Everyone needed space and Harry could accept that because she knew they'd come back. Of course she felt bad about telling Zayn about Josh, but everyone had just been overreacting, there was no need for things to escalate to this proportion. 

 It had been about a month, give or take a few days when Louis sat on the couch next to Harry. "That was seriously fucked up," she stated not taking her eyes off the TV, and Harry nodded, she could admit what she did was wrong. "Well in case you were wondering, Niall and Zayn are proper girlfriends now, talked it out and shit," Harry tilted her head to look at Louis as she spoke. "That's good." Zayn and Niall balanced each other out nicely, it would have been a shame to see the two split up, but it really wasn't logical. 

 This wasn't the first time they broke up and this definitely wasn't the first fight they've gotten in. 

 "We talked to Nick," Louis said slowly as if approaching a frightened animal. "So?" She said running a hand through her hair as she looked back to the television. "Why'd you tell Zayn you fucked?" Leave it to Louis to be blunt about the whole thing. There was no reason to dance around the situation because this was Harry and Louis knew her well enough to know that she would try to worm her way out. 

 "We did." 

 "Bullshit, oral doesn't count." Harry's face turned into a scowl as Louis spoke.

 "Excuse me?"

 Louis rolled her eyes clearly getting annoyed, "he ate you out and you passed out, the poor lad had to wank off in the bathroom. I mean I know I'm a sloppy drunk, but at least I get Liam off if we mess around."

 "Fuck off, besides aren't you supposed to hate him and find that hilarious," Harry snapped as she stood up ready to storm off to her room as Louis grabbed her wrist. "I do, but no one likes being left like that, and the orgasm is never as satisfying in that situation," she said letting Harry's wrist go. 

 "Now get ready we're getting lunch."

 "Who's going?"

 "Does it matter?" Which obviously meant everyone that Harry didn't want to see would be there. However, it really didn't matter because Louis would force her to go regardless of who was going. 

  

* * *

 

 

Lunch was interesting to say the least. Harry knew they'd come back because they always come back. Zayn and Niall were no different, however; Nick did put up a better front resulting in the two refusing to talk to other another. He'd come around because Harry has learned it really doesn't matter what she does they'll come back for this reason or that. By no means is this the first time the pair has gotten in a tiff and it isn't the first time they pretended that the other didn't exist. 

 

* * *

  

Harry hadn't realized how much time she spent with Nick until it was no longer an option, and maybe it was a bit depressing without the constant flirty banter, but she would admit to that if it were true. 

 "Caroline? What are you doing here?" Harry asked frowning in confusion from her stretched out position on the couch with some ridiculous reality show playing on the television. 

 "To see you of course, I've heard you've been moping and I've decided we need to have a girls night," she stated taking a seat on the couch's armrest. 

 "I haven't been moping."

 "Love, it's fairly obvious you have, so what have you done this time?"

 Harry scowled, "I haven't and I don't know what you're talking about."

 "Grimmy obviously," she said shooting a pointed look in Harry's direction.

 "Why do you just assume it’s my fault? Thanks Caroline brilliant friend you are," she said sarcastically crossing her arms as she sunk further into the couch.

 Caroline rolled her eyes in response, "because if he had done something, you'd be complaining about it to everyone and blowing it out of proportion, I love you babe, but you aren't exactly tolerable."

 "What the hell does that mean?"

 "That means I don't know why people put up with you, especially Grimmy, you have lovely moments together, but overall you don't exactly treat him nicely," Caroline explained trying to be as nice as she possibly could. 

 "I am nice to him!"

 "Like the time he accidentally spilt tea on you and you made it seem like the bloke punched you ten times in the tit," she said with a frown, "you know he felt terrible, the boy is absolutely smitten and nervous and I swear to God the couple across from us was about to call the police with all the ruckus you were making." 

 "But it was hot tea and it hurt!" Harry exclaimed refusing to admit she overreacted to the situation, but she was allowed to be angry with someone for spilling something on her. Even if it was obvious that they were already nervous with how much their hands were shaking. 

 "No you were being a brat and seeing if he'd put up with your shit, and for some ungodly known reason he does because we both know that wasn't the last time you pulled something like that," Harry just shook her head. "It wasn't like that," she said a bit softer this time. 

 "You know just because Zayn, Niall, Louis, and Liam pretty much let you treat them, however; you'd like doesn't mean everyone will, people have their limits and I think Grimmy is getting to his if he hasn't already," Caroline said as she stood up and smoothed out her skirt. "Food for thought."

 Harry didn't say anything as the girl left because what was there to say? She only told the truth and that was more than a little terrifying for Harry. She liked Nick, she really did; she wasn't all that bad to him, was she? 

 Harry went to Louis because she knew she'd be honest unlike Liam or Niall who'd try to dance around the subject and make it seem less than what it was. 

 "Do you think I'm shitty to Nick?" 

 "Is that really a question?" Louis said before looking over to Harry and frowning at the look on her face. "Okay look you aren't terrible all the time, it's mostly when you two are in public otherwise you're disgustingly sweet," Louis explained. 

 "I obviously don't like the man-slut, but you two are nice together, yeah? Like you can be an absolute bitch to him in public, but he doesn't seem to mind. I think he understands you more than you realize or want to realize and the blokes been devastatingly in love with you forever." Louis held her hand up when Harry attempted to interrupt. 

 "You have to understand that he came to terms with the flirty banter you two had was all that he'd get so when that all happened, he was hurt. I personally think you need to go talk to him." Harry bit her lip and nodded, "right, yeah, is uh, is Liam over there?"

 "He won't be in a few minutes," Louis replied with a smile grabbing her phone and standing up. "Now go get your man-slut," she teased before kissing Harry's forehead and pushing her towards the door. 

  

* * *

 

 

Harry was nervous; she couldn't remember a time in her life when she had been this nervous. Well, maybe that time she almost got kicked out for breaking into and putting fish in some bloke’s locker because he cheated on one of her friends. This, however, was different, different on quite a few levels. She has never been more thankful for having a spare key because taking the chance of having the door slammed in her face wasn't something she was willing to do. 

 She already felt like a big enough idiot and didn't need to add something else to the apparently expanding list. Harry did knock on the door to his room, no chance for everyone walking by to see the possible rejection. "I thought you were off fucking she-devil or whatever," was the only reply and Harry bit back a giggle. 

Opening the door, her eyebrow raised as she looked around the room unimpressed by the mess, "decided to try your hand at bein' a frat boy have you?" Nick's head whipped around as he frowned, "what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you," he looked wary, a million questions on his mind because this was not normal, and he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to see her. 

"What? Am I not allowed to come visit?" She says crossing her arms, the previous nerves evaporating as she felt herself slipping into a familiar routine. 

"Not when we're fighting," he said slowly not entirely sure if she smacked her head at some point.  

"Why are we fighting again?" 

"Jesus Harry what do you want? I get that everything is by your rules, but fuck off. I'm still pissed." 

A heavy weight settled on her chest as she bit her lip and looked down. Rejection isn't a familiar feeling, and she could understand why people were scared of it. Harry wasn't someone who was rejected often and she wasn't exactly sure how to handle it. 

That heavy feeling was replaced with a slow burn that the center of her chest and stretched out over her entire body. 

"Fuck you, that night was a bloody mistake anyways, never would've done it if I was sober. Aren't you old enough to be my father? That's fucking disgusting," she spit out smirking at his shocked expression. 

It was silent for a moment and just like before the guilt began to wash over her like a wave; she hadn't meant any of it. "Nick-" his hand rose to silence her.

"Get out," the words were so hurt filled and angry, they had Harry shying away. She left without another word glancing back before shutting the door behind her, tears already welling up in her eyes. 

 

* * *

  

"Jesus Harry, couldn't you just tell him the truth for fucks sake."

Harry just shrugged as she flipped through channels not wanting to think about it, let alone talk about it. Setting the remote down she looked over, "Lou."

Nothing else had to be said. Louis just sighed and sat down on the couch letting Harry curl into her and cry. 

 

* * *

 

  

It was another month before Harry could ask about Nick. It was a stuttered out question that had the rest of group looking at her with sad eyes and frowns on their faces. "What?" She asked clearly missing something. 

"Love, Nick got a job offer in London," her brow furrowed in confusion, "He-uh, he moved a few weeks ago."

"What? No he didn't, you guys would've told me and who gave him a job offer? He works in a bloody record store besides he was a shit employee always," she said with a scowl shaking her head. 

Louis' head tilted to the side, "this doesn't have to do with the record store, it's the radio hosting thing, he wanted to be a radio host, he was offered an internship, but something happened and they asked if he wanted to be a host or whatever," she explained slowly as Harry continued to look confused. 

"Since when did he want to work on the radio?" That's when everyone gave Harry a confused look, "forever, do you not remember him going to London? Shit it's all he talked about when he got back for like a week." 

How did she never know that? Clearly he would've told her, but then of course it only drilled the point home for Harry. She didn't pay attention to him while he could list off the most trivial and ridiculous things about her. The part alone was a bit heart wrenching to Harry, it was just an extra hit that Louis, the girl who hates him, knows that. Everyone besides Harry, who was supposed to be the closest to him, knew. 

"Are you going to go see him?" Niall asked softly, and Harry just shook her head. 

"It's obvious why," she replied when asked why before refusing to talk about it again, and everyone dropped it because things went Harry's way. It was always Harry's way and Harry's rules. 

  

* * *

 

 

It wasn't until later that night that Louis brought the subject back up. "He'd still forgive you if you actually tried I think." But Harry just shook her head, "we both know how it'll end if I tried, and really I don't think so," she replied.  

"You didn't see his face, and like you said, everyone has a breaking point, and I found his." Louis frowned and placed a kiss on her forehead, "don't worry, he'll come around, they always do, yeah?" 

"Maybe, I won't hold my breath," Harry replied because she understood that she only paid attention to people when she wanted something or they were doing something that she wasn't invited to do. She was selfish and maybe Nick would come back. Maybe she would got to London and try to fix things, but first she had to fix herself.

**Author's Note:**

> Overall, I'm just apologizing for this, and if you made it this far then kudos for you.


End file.
